You’ll have undoubtedly heard all about the Unicorn Frappuccino that has taken the internet and Starbucks customers by storm. It’s an insane fusion of sugar, food colouring, sugar, sprinkles and more sugar that will melt your tastebuds with sweetness.
The startlingly colourful drink is on sale for a short time period only, which, of course, has only added to the consumer-driven frenzy to try the beverage. If a quick scroll through Instagram is anything to go by, this blinding beverage is every amateur photographer’s dream come true. Multi-coloured coffee from Starbucks that happens to be ludicrously photogenic? How could any Instagram user worth their salt miss out on the opportunity to capture the #coffegoals drink in all its effervescent glory?
In case you are still keen to try the concoction for yourself (sorry Starbucks employees), then here is how the coffee chain describes the Unicorn Frappucino on its webpage;
“Here for a few days only. The flavour-changing, color-changing, totally not-made-up Unicorn Frappuccino. Magical flavours start off sweet and fruity transforming to pleasantly sour. Swirl it to reveal a color-changing spectacle of purple and pink. It’s finished wish whipped cream- sprinkled pink and blue fairy powders.”
Quite what “fairy powder” consists of, I’m not sure. Essence of pixies? Blended Barbie doll? Actual, real-life unicorns? Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll rot your teeth and make you pretty dang fat in the meantime. You can trust me on this: my parents are dentists and there’s no way they’d look me in the eye after chugging one of these bad boys.
Happily for baristas, the drink is only “here for a few days” according to the Starbucks website, so they shouldn’t have to toil in silent fury for too much longer, but my heart does go out to them and the relentless hours spent making endless Unicorn Frappuccinos to sate the thirst of the legions of Instagram-ers battering down the door of their local coffee house.